


Dean's Fictional Adventure

by jademark



Series: Given Prompts [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Pasta, Sword Fighting, There's swearing, What the Hell, a tiny force that becomes large, almost beheading someone, being sucked into the archie universe, magical books, uh, where do I start, william wallace - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22143718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jademark/pseuds/jademark
Summary: "Dean and Sam get so bored they encourage a small to become a big, and Castiel forces Sam into a cannon while Dean goes into Archie world and battles Archie for a bowtie pasta"
Series: Given Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599073
Kudos: 1





	Dean's Fictional Adventure

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a series of works inspired by strange prompts from my sister. I wrote this years ago. I originally linked all the prompts together so slight context may be needed. In this case, Bobby had just wrapped Dean and Sam in bubble wrap, placed them into cannons and shot them into space with no explanation, only to be saved by Castiel.

Sam and Dean are in disbelief. Just as the air pressure is getting almost unbearable, Castiel appears and touches them. They're sent onto the floor of a forest clearing. The bubble wrap is there but damaged enough to allow them to walk and move their arms.

Dean takes a loud breath, looking frazzled.

"You are 30 miles from home," Castiel says. 

"Thanks, Cas," Sam says, and Castiel disappears.

"Wow. Cas saves the day again. Now what the hell is wrong with Bobby?" Dean's voice escalates. 

"Maybe he's possessed," Sam shrugs.

"I love how you're so casual about it. 'Maybe he's possessed,'" Dean imitates Sam.

"Well... I guess we'd better go find the bunker."

Dean and Sam take a taxi and eventually get home.

There's really nothing to do now. There's only reruns playing on TV and Sam can't find a case. They're lounging around in the kitchen and Sam quietly urges Dean to come over to the counter. 

Dean walks over and looks at the otherwise empty counter. "What?"

Sam points to an area. "I think that's a Small. They're invisible forces that are well, you know, small."

Dean knits his brows. "And?"

"Well, I mean, they're pretty harmless. That's the first time I've seen one before."

Dean rolls his eyes and bends down level to Sam, staring at the invisible force on the counter. "Hey, Small. Why are you small?" He steps back. "Man, I feel stupid saying that."

"I think it heard you," Sam says. "Keep talking to it." 

"How? It's invisible."

"They have ears."

Dean bends down so he is level with the Small again. "Like... You're invisible... You can be anything, right? If I were you, I'd become a ... Sam, do 'Big's exist?"

Sam shrugs.

"Yeah. I'd do that," Dean says to the Small.

"Yeah," Sam agrees, because he is just that bored.

Sam glances over at the invisible force on the counter. "Dude. It actually just became a Big."

"Uh... Good job, buddy," Dean gives a thumbs up to the Big, and walks away.

To satiate his boredom, Dean looks at some magazines in some drawers that the Men of Letters left. Among some old Busty Asian Beauties magazines and old newspapers that he doesn't care for, Dean finds a book filled with Archie comics. 

"Seriously?" Dean raises an eyebrow. Light is flowing from the book. Dean is sucked in.

Meanwhile, in the background, Castiel can be seen trying to pick Sam up and force him into a cannon despite his protests.

Dean is 2-dimensional like his surroundings. "Well isn't that great. I'm in the cartoon 70s… Or whatever the hell," he says. 

He spots a group of college kids walking by. He bumps into Archie. Dean glares at the smiling adolescent who looks like he's in his mid-30s. 

"Hey Buddy! What's your name?" Archie beams.

"Um... you're real?" Dean asks.

"What kind of question is that?" Archie asks. His friends chuckle behind him. 

Dean notices that Archie and Jughead are eating bowtie pasta. Dean didn't even notice how long it's been since he's eaten, and his stomach growls. "Hey, can I have some?" he asks Jughead.

"No. Get your own."

Dean glares at him and walks away.  _ Wait a second, _ he thinks,  _ No one knows who I am here. I can do anything I want. I can BE anything I want.  _

Dean finds them again, dressed as William Wallace from Braveheart. "You sure you're not going to let me have some of your pasta?" he asks. 

"Dude... no," they say.

"Alright. How about this. I'll battle you for a single bowtie pasta."

"Sure!" Archie says. 

Heroic music plays as Dean rides on a horse into a glade, wielding a sword. Archie is riding a horse as well, and his friends watch in the background. 

They engage in a fierce battle, despite the fact that neither of them know how to use swords. Dean almost accidentally beheads Dilton. 

They have no idea how to finish the battle and Dean is out of breath. Archie, as a cartoon character, is invincible and will never die, and Dean just realizes this. "Okay. You win," Dean says. 

"Really?" Archie asks.

Well, no one even knows who Dean is, so no one cares that he failed, right? 

Dean gets off his horse and grabs a single bowtie pasta left in Jughead's bowl and pops it into his mouth when he thinks no one is looking.

"Hey! You can't do that!"

"Watch me," Dean says.  _ Who's the loser now?  _

Dean walks back to the place he appeared in and gets transferred back to the real world. 


End file.
